Jokes
Riddle from Tanaka San: A woman is walking on a country road. A car is speeding behind her at 100 kmph. What happened?
(Answer: She ran 101 kmph.)
She offered her honor. I honered her offer. And, all night long, I was on her and offer.
Leper: "Thanks for the tip."
Pink Panther Sings: "Dead Ant . Dead Ant. Dead Ant."
"Nanyanen" Hey, girl!
A father tells his sons to each put 100 dollars into his coffin. One boy tells the other he will put them in. He writes
out a check for $200.
Chikyuuyotteru! You're cute!
Why can't a bicycle stand? It is two tired.
Rice water = Karupisu.
Three tomatos. The father walks back to the baby tomato and steps on him and says, "Ketchup!"
If I can guess how much money you have in your pocket, will you give it to me? (Double it and add 3. Product that by five.
Subtract 6. Tell me how much you come up with. 10, 20, 23, x 5 = 116 - 6 = 109. You have 9 cents in your pocket.)
Why can't a skeleton play music in a church? (It has no organ.)
"I can save more money than you can." ...to a Jewish person. The next day the Jewish person: I bought a cigar, smoked it,
saved the ashes and put them into my planter. You: I bought a sausage, ate the meat inside the skin, used the skin for a rubber,
took a shit, and put the shit inside the skin. then I took, it back to the butcher I bought it from and said; "Hey, this smells
like shit, I want my money back!"
Englishman: I killed a hundred lions in India. Other man: There are no lions in India. Englishman: I know. I killed them
all.
1st Insane Person: I'm Napoleon. 2nd: How do you know? 1st: God told me. 3rd: "No, I didn't"
A man on a Tokyo subway platform is tearing off comic pages. Next Man: Why? Man: So elephants don't come here. Next Man:
Elephants don't come here! Man: I know. That's why I am tearing off comic sheets.
12 Inch Pianisto.
A man at the kitchen table says to his wife: "Let's tell the kids to go out and P-L-A-Y so we can fuck.
To a waitress: (Look at me! A hundred and eighty-five pounds of solid dynamite!)
The Waitress wasn't having none of that. She turned to the crowd and said...: "Run for your life, boys! The fuse ain't
that long!"
